Breathe My Last?

A very bad Monday morning to start the week off. Xuan woke up crying at 5:30am. Ya-Ya was unable to pacify her, so I carried her out of her bedroom. Well, she did quiet down upon hearing my voice and that was great consolation. I left her to play on her own after Ya-Ya refreshes herself and keep watch over her.

At 7:30am, I got off the bed, refreshes myself to start my "official" duties. Its almost the same routine everyday, 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year. The kiddos and Ya-Ya would have had their breakfast by now. So I'll proceed to have a bite and watch CNA while keeping an eye on the kiddos. Ya-Ya showers them around 8:30am (I'll do it occasionally) and they'll get their morning milk feed by 9-9:30am, after which Ya-Ya will take care of the household chores while I toddler-sit. But you know what? Once the munchkins' tummies are filled, that's when they gather enough energy to RR&R, aka run around the house, ransack every corner and ruin my day...

Until 11:30am this morning, both of them were fighting over the same book, the same pen, the same stool when there were many other (and better) alternatives available. They were also getting on my nerves by squeezing themselves through tiny paths between the couch and the window, then finding themselves stuck behind the standing lamp next to the couch and couldn't figure their way out. @!#$%^&* To make it worse, on and off, when En shows signs of sleepiness, I'd just go with the flow and gave her a little pat to help her drift off to sleep. Then midway, our dear little Xuan would drop something with a loud bang, release a laughter or chuckle right at En's face!!! With that, En becomes wide awake and the cycle starts all over again...

I had to take countless deep breaths. No point adding on to the tension by yelling at them, I'd reasoned to myself. I'd ignore them by reading magazines. It worked for a while cos they'd quiet down when no one's giving them any attention. But soon enough, they'll venture into other annoying acts which were capable of driving me insane. I even had to urge to strangle Sesame Street's Elmo whose usually cute voice sounded extremely irritating this morning amidst the chaos.

For a while, I thought I'm going to breathe my last. I could almost see myself six feet underground. I thank God for giving me life and life more "abundantly"!!! Why, God, why??? Why me??? Why twins? Why not a singleton? Such irony!

For my female comrades out there who are desperately trying to conceive, I know you'll be cursing and swearing at me as you read the above. But trust me, you'll feel the same too if you had been in my shoes! Allow me to ventilate, at least for now, for I may not have another chance to do so. Who knows when I'll seriously breathe my last? But then seriously, I know that day will not arrive so soon. At least not today, tomorrow, another week, another month or another year to come. I suppose my Lord wouldn't want me Home so soon for I, too, am capable of annoying Him as such as my kiddos annoy me. Hahaha...

"... I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." - John 10:10 NKJV