Happy 2nd Birthday

En & Xuan turned 2 today. A monumental stage for most toddlers, I guess, as they officially enter the Terrible Twos Club. To the munchkins, however, apart from the family gathering held to celebrate their "coming of age" last Saturday, birthdays are just like any other day. Life goes on, that is, if they actually "bother" about life in the first place. That's the beauty (or rather, bliss) of being a 2 year-old.

For me, today brings a whole lot of mix feelings as I took them for a morning walk. Looking back at how far we've come, I'm simply speechless when I think about how I was "born again" over a mere 24-month period. Well, I am still who I am today, yet I am more than what I was 2 years back. You know what I mean? It is not an increase in material possessions, wealth or knowledge kind of thing we're talking about here. It is character development resulting from a steep (very steep indeed) learning curve, tears, joy, bitterness, laughter, etc. You wouldn't want to trade this experience for anything in the world, even if there were more bitter times than happy ones. From the very moment you hear that soft, sweet voice whispering "mama" in your ears, you know the tears were worth it - every single bit of it!

Happy Birthday, my joy, my love, my revelations! For God gave you both to me, just so I could have a better understanding of myself. Thank you, God, for En & Xuan.

(En & Xuan having a good time at the park in the morning of their 2nd birthday.)

Sleepless and Sick

The girls are down with high fever (again!) and the cause is, as usual, unknown. Xuan kick start the whole "fever episode" running a temperature last Friday night, followed by En on Sunday. En hit a record high of 40.3°C while Xuan was burning at 40°C. The God-sent ear thermoscan is a great invention. Can't imagine what I'll do without it. But monitoring the munchkins every 30 minutes and administering medication 4 hourly really took a toll on me.

Previously when the munchkins fell ill, Ya Ya and I could still manage without additional help. Its amazing how we could "operate" in the day despite sleep deprivation over a few nights. On some nights, I think I only had maximum 2 hours of undisturbed sleep. Once the thermoscan reads 38.5°C or above, my mind will subconsciously stay awake even though my eyelids are down.

This time, I had to ask Gong Gong (my dad) to come over to help babysit the girls during the day, just so Ya Ya and I could take a break or catch some sleep. The entire household is down with cold, cough and body ache! Poor Di couldn't even take a day off because he is involved in the preparation of the first ever F1 Night Race held in town starting this coming Friday. He had to complete urgent tasks and be "on site standby" till 2 am during the race. He can't even "afford" to be sick. Can you beat that???

At home, Ya Ya and I are very grateful to Gong Gong for helping to "entertain" the 2 sick girls. He also bought us yummy meals (and herbal drinks too) so we don't have to worry about cooking or grocery shopping. Many thanks to Gong Gong!!! *Hugz*

I'm so looking forward to complete recovery for my family. Until then, please keep us in your prayers. Gracias!

8th Wedding Anniversary

Exactly 8 years ago, Di and I wilfully got married with nothing planned for our future, except our honeymoon destination. Some of our friends thought we were out of our minds. But then again, who cares??? We were very comfortable with our decision (which is literally no decisions made) and had never look back since. If we could do it all over again, I won't change a single thing, except, perhaps, our honeymoon destination. Hahaha... Nevertheless, I could at least proudly proclaim that for once (in fact, more than once) in my life time, I have MY LIFE, MY WAY. Sounds like a TV commercial? Kekeke...

With the 2 munchkins now, I guess we will have to think thrice before engaging ourselves in any audacious acts. But the most predictable thing about life is its unpredictability, so it's tough to have to think twice, let alone thrice. Once you start thinking, you may have already missed the boat!!!

Oh God, there I go again... Please keep me firmly grounded, I pray. Give me wisdom, patience and self-control. Amen.

P/S: Before I forget, happy anniversary, Di. I'm not very hopeful that we'll get to dine together tonight, but I'm praying... kekeke...

“Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led. But it does mean loving and knowing the One who is leading. It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding and reason – a life of knowing him who calls us to go.” - Oswald Chambers.

Baby #3

I opened my front door this morning and was greeted by a question from my neighbour “You've got another baby? For the past few days, we kept hearing an infant crying and it seemed to be coming from your home.”

Well, yes, we've got an infant at home. But, no, it NOT ours. Curious (or rather nosey) neighbours must be “shocked” to find me carrying a 3-month old infant around the estate. Well, it’s not baby #3 for us despite the attractive baby bonus package announced by the government last month. But I must admit there were times when Di and I thought “How nice if she’s ours”. And she… is Natasha, my niece.
Note: We will be babysitting Natasha for 2 weeks because my sister (suffering from post natal depression) has no helper.

Am I having second thoughts about having another child? No, I don’t think so. I would, if my next child comes with a "100% Sweetie Pie Guarantee". Hahaha… Personally, I find it hard to imagine going through the entire cycle of raising an infant to toddler again, especially with the munchkins into their terrible twos phase now. Plus, there are tonnes of things I‘d like to do and I’m only a few months away from “getting a life” (when the munchkins go to school). I've too much to risk, agree?

Still counting down…
765 days had gone by since I was gainfully employed.
113 more days before I regain my freedom.
A couple more months before I start life “afresh”.
Baby #3? Err… maybe, perhaps, we’ll see…

Funeral

Di’s granny is 104 this year. He’s been the apple of her eyes since he was a little boy. Yesterday, we bid her farewell as she ends her life journey peacefully in the comfort of her home. As some of the family members went ahead to arrange for her funeral, others sat around reminiscing. Di even sobbed when he called me last night. I wish granny was around to witness that or hear those lovely words everyone said about her.

I’ve always thought it makes more sense to hold a funeral service when one is alive (or rather, when one is about to die). Why bother to play my chosen songs, read my favourite scriptures and share how you feel about me… when I’m lying in a stiff, cold casket. Then again, I doubt anyone would support my “Pre-Funeral” idea, and my dad would probably think I’m crazy. So I guess I’d probably try my luck again in my golden years. Kekeke…

Reminder to Di, En & Xuan
In the event I had to return home to the Lord unexpectedly, please read my favourite scripture Psalm 27 and play the following songs at my funeral.

1. Amazing Grace (sang by Hayley Westenra in the album “Pure”)
2. Pokarekare Ana (sang by Hayley Westenra in the album “Pure”)
3. 牽我的手 (by Pastor 林义忠)

Thanks!

Job Satisfaction

I supposed most people will agree that a mommy's greatest job satisfaction comes from witnessing her children's many "first" (eg. first coo, first rollover, first steps, first words, etc.) and ensuring her kids attain their various milestones. Even if one is a full time working mom, I'm sure these "big" achievements by your little ones means a great deal. But beyond all these, how else can a mommy obtain job satisfaction, especially if one is a full time mommy?

I was pleasantly surprised yesterday by how fulfilled I was when I managed to "housekeep" the munchkins' few toy chests. Firstly, having cleared up the "mess" satisfies the slight OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) in me to have a neat and tidy home. Secondly, the excess toys were either worn out (to be disposed, of course) or no longer age appropriate. And what we normally do is pass on the ones in good condition to younger kids of family or friends, or send the loot to The Salvation Army. That again, satisfies my self actualisation needs because it means I am able and willing to give.

Lastly, and also the most important point is, my kids are developing and growing so well, they no longer need their kiddy toys. Outgrowing these toys means they've moved on to other toys which requires higher level of intellectual and motor skills (eg. colouring books, puzzles, play dough, etc.). And that's job satisfaction for a mommy too! At the very least, it satisfies a self-centred mommy like me who simply can't wait for the kids to grow up. :)

Mishap or Miracle

Our all time accident-prone twin, Xuan, hurt herself again on Saturday night. As usual, she was getting extremely "high" playing in their almost childproof bedroom. While tugging the blanket, she fell sitting on the parquet floor, slide backwards and hit her lower back against the magnetic door stopper mounted on the wall (behind the wooden door). Ouch!

There were no tears. No one actually knew how bad the impact was until she stood up, turned to look at the door stopper and exclaimed "Huhhhhh!!!!" There lying on the floor was the door stopper, and a metal piece with screws which was supposed to hold the door stopper to the wall (see photo below). The entire piece had been brought down on impact!!! Di had to hammer the entire metal piece back on the wall after that, before the door stopper can be screwed on to it again.

















While Di was busy playing the handyman, my heart raced as I checked for wounds/bruises on Xuan. She had an angry red, bruised area where her left kidney is located. No obvious cuts because the gathers of her Mamypoko pants cushioned her soft skin. My heart felt like it had been sliced into pieces, nonetheless. I prayed that night, asking for God's healing (should there be internal injuries which the naked eyes can't see) and thanking Him for watching over the munchkins when I wasn't. She could have been hit on her head, can you imagine that???!!!

Xuan went to sleep smiling that night. The entire incident didn't bothered her at all while Di and I had to discuss action plans for the following day should bruises or signs of discomfort surface. It's been 3 days and we really thank God for delivering His promise to protect the girls while we committed them into His hand. Xuan woke up on Sunday with no bruises, no signs of discomfort and no recollection of the ordeal. She's a miracle child indeed.

Note
We managed to work out an interim solution. That is to wrap the door stopper with a foam pad (see picture below). If you have any better suggestions, please share. Thanks!

Notice on Shutterfly

Dear family & friends

For those of you who are regular visitors to the munchkins’ Shutterfly albums, or perhaps one of their fans who had already formed your own “fan club” (kekeke…), please do note that the password to the newly revamped site remained unchanged - twins. I had the password shortened to these 5 alphabets to make it easier for everyone, but I will not remove the security layer for obvious reasons.

In case you’re wondering why I bother to reveal the password here if security means so much to me, its because I’m fully aware the “viewership” of this blog hasn't come to the point where tight security measures had to be put in place. Hahaha…

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the refreshing new look of the web page. The Shutterfly team certainly deserves a big hug for the amazing face lift, don’t they? Keep checking out the site for updates, ya?

Love, Di and me

Something about Di

Hmmmm… After sharing so much about the munchkins and myself, I think its time to introduce the sole breadwinner of our household, the man with a funny bone (if you know him well) and the proud father to his 2 beautiful princesses – Di.

Actually, if you were to ask me to sum him up in a phrase, I’d say Di is a chronic patient with the “disease to please”. That’s one of the reasons why he is always so busy – living for others. But most of the time, I’d say he’s pretty pleased when people show their appreciation or gratitude towards him for helping out. And I’m proud of his generosity (in terms of time and effort) as long as he doesn't complain because I am, apparently, his only audience. Not by choice though. Kekeke…

But there is one aspect of him which many of us (family & close friends) knew about and are often appalled by that trait of his – he forgets things almost instantly! No, he’s not suffering from sever memory loss or early dementia. My guess is his memory is operating at maximum capacity (because he has so much to think about), so there’s hardly any space left in his brain to store new inputs, thus resulting in that blur or “Huh???” look on his face most of the time.

The most classic example would be the night when I was sent to the hospital for an emergency c-section to deliver the munchkins. All that anxiousness from knowing my waterbag broke and our gynae's advise to admit to the hospital immediately must have caused a sever adrenaline rush in his brain. He managed to calm down a little after we arrived at the hospital. While waiting for everyone to get ready for the operation, the father-to-be felt somewhat relaxed and decided to grab a quick bite together with his colleague (who kindly rushed over to the hospital with his Mrs to see if help is required). And guess what? What I thought would be a 15-minute break for him turned out much longer than expected because our DEAR FRIEND forgot he’s got a wife in labour in the hospital directly opposite the coffeeshop where he’s enjoying his dinner!!! I gave up after calling his mobile repeatedly (at least 10 times). Thanks God his colleague noticed the vibrating mobile phone and he rushed back in the nick of time when the nurse was about to wheel me into the operating room. Phew!

Although Di brings “headaches” to my life, he is, at the same time, pretty capable of making me laugh with his witty conversations and nonsensical comments. The munchkins will certainly have more fun growing up with a father as such than one who is a stern and serious. So daddy’s not the disciplinarian at home? Nope! Leave that part to… yes, you’re right! Yours truly!

"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." - Ephesians 5:33 (NKJV)
"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."
- Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV)

Where is the Green underpants?

After 19 months of caring for the munchkins, Ya Ya still struggles with their identity. Most of the time, I'd laugh at her silly mistakes, except once when she gave cold medication to the twin who is well and cheery.

Then, another silly mistake by Ya Ya this morning resulted in a 30 minute hunt for a pair of Green underpants. Xuan would normally get her morning bath first simply because she loves playing with water and couldn't wait. This morning, En got to shower first when it was bath time, as Xuan was having her "time out" with me for throwing a tantrum.

After bath time, I recalled seeing a pair of Yellow underpants on the floor when Ya Ya was dressing Xuan. This is pretty normal as the munchkins are now able to take off their underpants and occasionally put them back on. However, I found Xuan running around later on with only her diaper on while En had the Yellow underpants on her. I highlighted to Ya Ya and she started looking around for the missing "Green underpants", and at the same time, asked Xuan where she had "hidden" it. (Note: Xuan has the habit of hiding toys and stuff under the dinning chair cushions or any funny corners she can find.) We were preparing to go marketing, so before long, we had clean forgotten about it and Xuan ended up going to the mall without any underpants.

When we reached home, the first thing we did was to search for the missing article. I even looked out of the window to see if Xuan had thrown it down the flat. Approximately half an hour later and having combed nearly the entire house, I decided we should just leave the mysterious Green underpants alone. Just then, I had a strange idea which prompted me to check on En. Viola!!! She had 2 underpants on her!!! The Green one first followed by the Yellow one!!!

I laughed and laughed... Well, Ya Ya remembered putting on a pair of Green underpants for the twin who got showered first, but forgot that twin was En instead of Xuan. Secondly, she conveniently put on the Yellow underpants, on top of the Green one for En without even realising it. So that solves the mystery of the missing Green underpants.

If you think this is funny, you had better pray hard you will not have twins. *Wink*

Maid-less???

Yesterday, as the nation took their rest from all the activities and celebrations leading up to the NDP (National Day Parade) on Saturday, Di and I had to work extra hard on Ya Ya’s off day because we didn't ask for any help this time. Well, Di’s 104 year old grandma is hospitalised (in coma, to be exact) so his parents were busy. Gong Gong, on the other hand, caught a cold and we felt he needed a good rest.

Moreover, its been a really long time since we last spent a day together as a family. Yes, I mean, just the 4 of us – Di, me, En & Xuan. It was tiring as we brought the munchkins for a near 2-hour morning walk, and then an evening walk which lasted about an hour. But we enjoyed the day thoroughly, though I hope it doesn't become a daily thing. Hahaha…

You know, Ya Ya was sweet enough to have showered the munchkins and cooked their lunch before she left for her once-a-month break. I get to skip the laundry and cooking chores altogether, and yet I still felt exhausted at the end of the day as compared to the usual routine. So can you imagine if I had to juggle those duties as well? Arrggghhhh!!! Help!!!

By now, I must confess I’m one of those who cannot live without my helper. Not just any helper, but in particular, our beloved Ya Ya. Kudos to all the domestic helpers out there who made our lives a lot more manageable, agree???!!! I was very glad to have Ya Ya back at home last night. Very, very glad indeed…

The Journey... thus far

Today’s posting is to commemorate my motherhood journey thus far. To date, I spent 37 weeks and a day carrying the twins in my womb and exactly 22 months being a full time mother.

Parenting a child is tough. More so if you’re a parent to a set of twins, triplets, quads, etc. I’m sure my dear friends (Geck, Serene, Michelle, Karen, Fi, Carmen, Irin, Jess and many other mommies who are in the same shoes as me) will agree totally with me that our twins are a tremendous blessing and immense bother to us at times. I experience joy and laughter on a daily basis as much as I feel frustrated, sometimes angry or even close to tears. Yet whenever the storm’s calm down and the coast is clear, God’s soft, gentle voice will heard, telling me the munchkins are wonderfully made by Him and generously given to me. Hence I have to love and embrace them, faithfully raise them and shower them with care like precious gems.

Sometimes, I surrender myself and commit my parenting journey to God. At times, like my rebellious twins, I turn away from God in anger, taking advantage of the fact that my heavenly Father will be right behind me no matter what (please forgive me, Father!).

Twins. Twice the dosage of everything indeed. But, they are one of the reasons why I’m so in awe of God. And I pray they will be too…

Who's the Boss?

People like to ask if both En & Xuan are the same in terms of personality (since they are identical twins). As much as I refuse to compare them, my answer is usually "They are very different."

Indeed, when I refer to the 4 dimensions of the DISC Personality Tests, I'd classify the munchkins as follows:

• Dominance - EN (for being active in dealing with challenges, egocentric, strong willed, determined, etc. )
• Influence - XUAN (influence others through talk & activity, magnetic, enthusiastic, warm, etc.)
• Steadiness - both En & Xuan (or most toddlers for that matter) would probably get low scores for this as they've yet to learn how to control or handle emotions. However, XUAN would probably get a higher score for steadiness since she is generally more calm, relaxed and can be a little poker-faced at times.
• Conscientiousness - EN (careful, cautious, neat, systematic, exacting, etc.)

En had once again proven my analysis right when we were at the playground this morning. Well, we were all up by 6am, so to kick start the day, we decided to head down to the playground before the burning morning sun starts to heat up the vicinity. The munchkins were clearly "informed" that we'd have to leave by the time the sun rays reaches the slides. It all went well and we had fun, laughter, giggles plus occasional screams.

Suddenly, En pointed to the risen sun, beaming on the playground, turned her head around and gave a very reluctant look on her face. I interpreted that as "Oh no, the sun's here. I wish we don't have to go." Ya Ya reminded her what was agreed upon earlier, and our little friend walked towards the lift lobby with disappointment on her face. Then she turned around, and saw Xuan struggling with Ya Ya. Annoyed by the commotion, the big sister shouted "Ehhhhh..." pointing at Xuan, then the sun. She seemed to be telling her sister off for not abiding by the "rules"!

Well, it seemed clear to me now that En's the boss, despite Xuan being somewhat aggressive at times. Now I'm almost certain Xuan will be "well taken care of" by En when they attend playgroup next year.

Law & Order

Every parent know how its like when their kids are sick. Crankiness, topsy turvy routine, incessant wails, etc. are common while the kiddos are on medication. At times, I wonder how many of us actually stick to the rules and call for disciplinary actions at the onset of tantrums when you have a feverish toddler who is coughing and sneezing every other minute? Any comments, anyone?

I must confess I'm one of those parents who allow my kids to regress every time they fall ill. I'll try to give in to their demands, as long as it keeps them calm. Much as I know inconsistency is confusing to the kids, the feeling of being totally defeated, especially when I'm dead tired from sleep deprivation and on the verge of losing my mind, just makes me irrational amidst the mayhem.

This morning, after battling numerous episodes of the munchkins' dramatic acts, coupled with exhaustion from 3 sleepless nights in a row, I find myself losing my voice instead of my mind. That's a result of me speaking (at times, shouting) aloud for the past 4 days in order to be heard, while munchkins wailed or fought.

My partially deaf right ear seemed hurt from the cruel screams of my two 21-month old tots. I had to cover it whenever a new fight sparks off. But my sanity is still in place (thank God!). The munchkins finally cornered me to the point I decided enough is enough. I've just applied the good old "Cold Turkey" treatment on them by putting away items which were the "source" of their numerous fights. The usual rules were reinstated. As a result, Xuan had a 4-minute time-out this morning, while En got smacked on her hand twice for throwing a tantrum, hitting Xuan and attempting to hit Ya Ya as well.

Well, sounds like war at home? No! In fact, peace had just been restored the moment "law and order" is put back in place. In order to maintain the level of "social security and stability" at home, I'm starting to review and set new KPIs for the munchkins. *Evil grin*

R.P.

Parents with toddlers who are 18 months or older or walking/running steadily would probably be quite familiar with the following places on our sunny little island.

• Bukit Timah Nature Reserve
• East Coast Park
• Jacob Ballas Children's Garden
• Regional & Community Libraries
• Sembawang Park
• Singapore Changi Airport (the new Terminal 3 in particular)
• The Southern Ridges (9-kilometre chain of green, open spaces spanning the rolling hills of Mount Faber Park, Telok Blangah Hill Park and Kent Ridge Park before ending at West Coast Park)

What do all these places have in common?

• Spacious. A must have for walking/running toddlers.
• Have facilities which keep toddlers occupied (Let's face it! Tots are capable of coming up with at least 3 activities from a mere long bench!)
• Admission is free.

But for a non-driver like me, travelling to some of these places with the tots can be a real challenge. Distance is also another major deterrent factor. Hence, I've been cracking my thick skull, searching for a venue which I can bring the tots to for "workout" on a regular basis, without having to lug a "luggage" along. And guess what? I found one!!!

I managed to catch up with my sister over lunch few days back at her workplace and I found the place a fantastic venue for the kids to "workout". My sister teaches at the RP (Republic Polytechnic) which is about 15 minutes bus ride from my place. The campus' 20-hectare area consists of environmental friendly features, greenery, water features & huge air conditioned open spaces (mostly carpeted). It is indeed a "Campus In the Park".

So I brought the munchkins there the following day. As expected, they were thrilled to see stairways, ramps and the water features. By the time we were done exploring the main building, the tots were exhausted. It took them only 5 minutes to drift off to sleep by the time we got home. Well, we'll definitely go back there to explore other areas of the campus real soon! :)

Play

A couple of my curious, "full-time working mom" friends often ask me "What do you do at home with your kids the whole day?" My answer? We play! But what can a 35 year-old play with two 21 month-old tots?

Well, first of all, I must say its very fun to watch the munchkins play. They play with toys, with each other, with other kids and on their own. Sometimes, the funny sound they make while playing with finger puppets makes me want to laugh aloud. They can make the sound of a bear or lion roar, but can you imagine a frog "chirping" or a giraffe "meowing"??? Yet I have to really control myself and watch quietly, or they might just throw in the towel and run off.

Just this morning, I decided to replace the usual star-shaped bites or Coco Crunch with transparent pebbles in their "transfer game". The "transfer game" is the term I decided to use for training them on the proper use of bowls, cups as well as spoons. They'll have to make use of the spoon to scoop up the snacks from the bowl, transfer them into the cup before scooping the loot from the cup and then reward themselves with the food. Its kind of fun, but I'm beginning to find it too easily achievable because the snacks are way too lightweight compared to proper food served in meals.

So I carefully cleaned some transparent pebbles (see photo of the pebble which resembles a candy) before putting them into their bowls. Ya Ya was a little worried they might swallow the clear stones, assuming those are candies. I decided its not a cause for worry since I'll be personally supervising them. Turn out they did attempt to eat them but after 2 stern warnings, they seemed to "get the message" that those were not edible. At the end of the game, both managed to learn the word "pebble" as well though one can only hear "-ble" from their lips.

Okie, I've gotta go and think of more "games" and "activities" for the munchkins' play. Ciao!

Silent Conversations

Though En & Xuan are now able to say a dozen words, a typical “conversation” during the day would end up like this.

[Munchkins point to the DVD player.]

Me: You want to watch DVDs?
Munchkins nod their heads.

Me: What would you like to watch?
Silence… (Probably vocalising the titles inside their tiny little brain)

Me: Would you like to watch Elmo (refers to Sesame Street series)?
Munchkins shake their heads.

Me: How about Hi-5 (refers to the Hi-5 series)?
Munchkins shake their heads again.

Me: Is it Nemo (refers to the movie “Finding Nemo”)?
Munchkins shake their heads this time with some displeasure on their faces.

Me: Then, how about Ah-Bu (refers to the character in the movie “Monster Inc.”)?
Munchkins shake their heads vigorously and start to make noise.

Me: Okay, is it Mickey (refers to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse series) then?
Munchkins grin from ear to ear, nodding their heads simultaneously.

You know what? Such “silent” conversation doesn’t always end on a happy note. There are times when I feel like quitting the human race when I’ve exhausted the list (and sub-listing like the titles under Sesame Street or Hi-5 series!!!) and still haven’t got the right answer! It is having to guess every single possible answer to their request that’s the silent killer! Forget those books which advocate giving choices to tots but limiting the options to 2. It doesn’t work all the time. I have come to realise a particular trick which works better – don’t even ask! Just play whatever DVDs I feel like it. More often than not, they’ll just watch along with me or run off to play on their own if they are not interested. Perfect!

Live the Dream!

On 17 May, I posted a sharing on my desire for a career switch in the coming year. At the same time, SMSes were also sent to my group of “prayer partners” as I really needed confirmation and assurance. I mentioned in that posting “As long as I know this is His plan for me, I would fearlessly take the step of faith and go forth.” Subsequently, I was surprised to receive so much assurance from family (Di included, of course) and friends, encouraging me to give it a go. Yet deep down, I still felt inadequate and uncertain though I believe He was telling me to “Go on. I’ll be with you, O ye of little faith!”

Exactly 5 weeks later, on 20 June, while going through a daily devotional material, I was so encouraged by the opening passage because it really speaks into my heart where this issue is concerned. Here’s what it says:

“If God tells you to do something, He will give you the energy, talent, resources – whatever you need – to do it. Where God guides, He provides.” (Rick Warren, founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California.)

Such timely reassurance! I continue to pray about it, and it took me another week to have the courage to share this with the other very-important-men in my life – my dad. And boy, was I thankful he didn’t scream with remarks like “How are you going to raise your children with that kind of salary & working hours!!!” He listened quietly to my sharing and thought about it for a while. Guess what? Those 8 seconds were the longest silence I ever endured in my entire life! “It is hard work. Nevertheless, it is a career worth considering. You decide. It’s your call.” I was thankful, encouraged and relieved. Nothing beats having the favour of my Father above and the support of my dad on earth.

So, yes! Be prepared to bump into me in the coming year, strutting around in the MRT, clad in jeans, tee shirt and struggling with notes and reference books. I’m going back to school!!! Yippee...

“If Jesus Lived Inside My Heart”

“If Jesus Lived Inside My Heart” is a very lovely passage for tots, written by Jill Roman Lord, text copyright © 2007. It is also a very good reminder to me to share with my tots, on how the Lord works for and within us in our daily walk with Him. Here’s the passage to share with everyone.

If Jesus lived inside my heart,
Would other people know?
Perhaps he’d use all parts of me
To love and shine and glow!

If Jesus used my eyes, I think
He might just recommend
That when I see a child alone,
I’d try to be her friend.

I’d offer her some bubble gum
Or ask if she might like
To shoot some hoops of basketball
Or try out my new trike.

Would Jesus use my mouth to say
“I’m sorry” when I’m wrong?
Or offer kind encouragement
For friends to get along?

I think he’d use my arms to give
Big warm and snugly hugs
And hold my baby sister when
She’s scared of creepy bugs

My hands could make nice cards to send
To Grandma far away.
I’d also rub Mom’s shoulders when
She’s had a busy day.

I’d use my gifts and talents that
God’s given to me to share.
I’d play a song for Grandpa and
His friends to show I care.

I’d always try to do what’s best,
So someone else might see
That Jesus lives inside my heart
And works through little me!

And if there were one cookie left,
I’d know just what to do…
I’d split it with my brother ‘cause
He’d want a cookie too.

I know I sometimes make mistakes.
I’m messy and I spill.
Then, what does Jesus think of me?
Does Jesus love me still?

I think he’d say, “I love you, Child,
More than you’ll ever know.
Since you have given me your heart,
I’ll never let you go.

I’ll work through you and shine through you
Just like the brightest light.
I’ll guide each precious step you take
And help you do what’s right.

And though I live inside of you,
I’m here for all to see.
When others see your acts of love…
They’re also seeing me.”

And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts,
Living within you as you trust in him.
– Ephesians 3:17, The Living New Testament.