Paranoia

Do you find yourself acting strangely after becoming a parent? Do you hear your newborn baby cry in the middle of the night, when he/she is actually sound asleep? Or have you ever place your index finger near the baby's nostrils to confirm he/she is still breathing? I have, and I still do. Paranoia was never part of me until the arrival of En & Xuan, and I found myself stuck with this "disorder" till now.

After the series of events (lung infection, surgery, hospitalisation, etc.) which took place since February, my maternal "antenna" would respond to the slightest sign of a cough, or even a mere choke coming from the munchkins. Some nights, I literally jump off the bed when I hear a cough from the girls' room. And whatever food that triggers a cough are banned from the kids' menu for now. In the past, I never believe in abstaining from certain foods when one is ill. "Eat everything in moderation" had always been my principle when it comes to food. Now, I watch my girls' diet like a hawk. Eggs, chicken soup, honey, french fries, raisins or citrus foods, etc. are a big NO-NO.

Its sad to deprive them of so many of their regular foods, especially when they don't have many to begin with. But if you witness the munchkins coughing right after a small serving of honey stars, or cough for a good 3 hours in their sleep from 9pm till midnight after having eaten some french fries over dinner, you'd rather watch them eat plain bread with sky juice. No joke!

Gong-Gong and all my other family members are not spared. My paranoia drove me to inspect every snack given by them. It's for the good of their grandchildren/nieces, I'd say. And of course, for a peace of mind for the mommy too. Nevertheless, I pray this disorder won't last for long. For as soon as the munchkins are cleared of this respiratory "ordeal", I am certain I will be back to my old self. Or will I ever be???...

"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" - Philippians 4:7 (NKJV)