A beautiful poem I spotted in my girls' very talented & gentle PD Dr. Kenneth Lyen's clinic. He certainly is one doctor you'll fall in love with at first "word". :)
If Children Live With
Praise - they learn to appreciate
Criticism - they learn to condemn
Approval - they learn to like themselves
Shame - they learn to feel guilty
Encouragement - they learn confidence
Ridicule - they learn to be shy
Security - they learn to have faith
Fairness - they learn justice
Acceptance & Friendship - they learn to find love in the world
Friday, February 27, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Xuan
First of all, Happy Valentine's Day! I hope everyone had a great time together with their loved ones today. While we're not exactly celebrating the occasion, we're more than grateful we didn't have to spend this day at the KK Children's Hospital. Thank you, God!!!
For your information, I decided to name this post "Xuan" not because I have to write something about her after naming the previous one "En". Although I try to be as fair as I can as a parent and friend to the munchkins, there are times where its hard to practice what I preach. Nobody's perfect, let's face it.
Then why name this post "Xuan"? Because there is something about Xuan which we have to deal with now. Her childcare teacher called yesterday to find out En's condition, and at the same time, share with me something she observed in Xuan. Well, I must admit that deep inside, I have a feeling I knew what she was going to say but was hoping I'd be wrong... Well, a mother's instinct is almost always right.
Her teacher observed signs of insecurity in Xuan in the past week. She decided to discuss with me when Xuan refused to let part with her Dora pouch (which I bought for her this week) in school, clinging on to it as though her life depended on it. "She was never like this before. I feel she reacted this way because everyone's attention is on En this week. Do you think so, Mrs Yeo?" asked her teacher.
I had to agree. I'm one of the culprits who were not sensitive enough to my little girl's needs. I have no reasons to find excuses for myself, claiming that En needs me more in times like this. There were a number of occasions where I saw disappointment in Xuan's eyes this week, but I told myself I'll make up for it later on when En recovers. I was so wrong.
After sharing with Di and Ya-Ya about the teacher's observation, we decided we'll be more sensitive towards Xuan. But we are only humans, and what took place today made me feel worse than ever. This morning, En cried when Xuan took a piece of toy which she wanted but was too weak to reach for it. Ya-Ya told Xuan nicely to let En have the toy first and reiterate the fact that En is not well. Xuan then took a step forward, passed the toy to En quietly and turned away. One could almost see the hurt in her eyes!!! And the next thing we knew, she took a bite on her right arm!
Then in the afternoon, when I carried the frail En out of her bedroom after her nap, Xuan was seen happily sipping a cup of cooled Barley drink which Gong Gong had bought. Upon seeing En, the anxious Gong Gong hurriedly took the cup from Xuan and offered to En for fear that En would further dehydrate, but he too, failed to see the hurt in Xuan's eyes. Before I could react, there goes another bite on Xuan's arm.
Was Xuan trying to alleviate her hurt by transferring the pain onto her arms? We don't know... I've had friends complaining about their kids biting other children in the childcare centre. I've also been told stories involving sibling rivalry. Yet today, I find myself in no better shape than these friends. The only difference in our story is - the child inflicting and receiving hurt is one and the same - my Xuan.
Parenting is hard work. Not the physical aspect. At least not for me. The challenging part comes in the form of discipline and nurturing kids the way it is most beneficial to them. For Xuan, I supposed my utmost critical task on hand is to pray (for her and myself), shower her with lots of love and provide her assurance that in my heart, she will never be any less important than her twin sister. Seriously, I cannot think of any better solution at the moment. My brain is already operating at maximum capacity and my heart is still aching from the series of events. None of my other organs are capable of contributing to the topic at this moment... Oops, guess I'm not making any sense already. My brain is probably on the verge of entering "sleep" mode...
Sorry, Xuan. Mommy's very tired... But I do love you. Please be patient with me...
For your information, I decided to name this post "Xuan" not because I have to write something about her after naming the previous one "En". Although I try to be as fair as I can as a parent and friend to the munchkins, there are times where its hard to practice what I preach. Nobody's perfect, let's face it.
Then why name this post "Xuan"? Because there is something about Xuan which we have to deal with now. Her childcare teacher called yesterday to find out En's condition, and at the same time, share with me something she observed in Xuan. Well, I must admit that deep inside, I have a feeling I knew what she was going to say but was hoping I'd be wrong... Well, a mother's instinct is almost always right.
Her teacher observed signs of insecurity in Xuan in the past week. She decided to discuss with me when Xuan refused to let part with her Dora pouch (which I bought for her this week) in school, clinging on to it as though her life depended on it. "She was never like this before. I feel she reacted this way because everyone's attention is on En this week. Do you think so, Mrs Yeo?" asked her teacher.
I had to agree. I'm one of the culprits who were not sensitive enough to my little girl's needs. I have no reasons to find excuses for myself, claiming that En needs me more in times like this. There were a number of occasions where I saw disappointment in Xuan's eyes this week, but I told myself I'll make up for it later on when En recovers. I was so wrong.
After sharing with Di and Ya-Ya about the teacher's observation, we decided we'll be more sensitive towards Xuan. But we are only humans, and what took place today made me feel worse than ever. This morning, En cried when Xuan took a piece of toy which she wanted but was too weak to reach for it. Ya-Ya told Xuan nicely to let En have the toy first and reiterate the fact that En is not well. Xuan then took a step forward, passed the toy to En quietly and turned away. One could almost see the hurt in her eyes!!! And the next thing we knew, she took a bite on her right arm!
Then in the afternoon, when I carried the frail En out of her bedroom after her nap, Xuan was seen happily sipping a cup of cooled Barley drink which Gong Gong had bought. Upon seeing En, the anxious Gong Gong hurriedly took the cup from Xuan and offered to En for fear that En would further dehydrate, but he too, failed to see the hurt in Xuan's eyes. Before I could react, there goes another bite on Xuan's arm.
Was Xuan trying to alleviate her hurt by transferring the pain onto her arms? We don't know... I've had friends complaining about their kids biting other children in the childcare centre. I've also been told stories involving sibling rivalry. Yet today, I find myself in no better shape than these friends. The only difference in our story is - the child inflicting and receiving hurt is one and the same - my Xuan.
Parenting is hard work. Not the physical aspect. At least not for me. The challenging part comes in the form of discipline and nurturing kids the way it is most beneficial to them. For Xuan, I supposed my utmost critical task on hand is to pray (for her and myself), shower her with lots of love and provide her assurance that in my heart, she will never be any less important than her twin sister. Seriously, I cannot think of any better solution at the moment. My brain is already operating at maximum capacity and my heart is still aching from the series of events. None of my other organs are capable of contributing to the topic at this moment... Oops, guess I'm not making any sense already. My brain is probably on the verge of entering "sleep" mode...
Sorry, Xuan. Mommy's very tired... But I do love you. Please be patient with me...
Friday, February 13, 2009
En
This post is solely about En.
Before I could get over her adenoid issue, we had another "drama" yesterday and it totally freaked me out. I finally broke down because I really thought I was going to lose her forever...
En had been down with diarrhea and vomiting for the past few days. As she had just started a course of Claripen (an antibiotic) last weekend, I figured its normal because the side effects of the drug clearly indicated diarrhea, vomiting, abdominal pain, headache, taste alteration, etc.
Her diarrhea became more severe by Tuesday, after our visit to the ENT specialist. In order not to further traumatise her, I called the clinic instead of bringing her back to the doctor. Her usual doctor was off duty, so I consulted the locum instead, and was told to continue with Claripen as diarrhea is normal under such condition. Her last meal taken to date was a slice of hash brown during lunch on Tuesday.
We went on to administer the drug and even send her to school on Wednesday. Big mistake!!! Although she survived school on Wednesday, she was too weak to even move around by Thursday morning. She was seen lying around on the floor, couch and everywhere at home in the morning. As we had already decided not to send her to school, we just let her rest as much as her heart desires.
By 9am plus, she fell asleep, and Ya-Ya thought she's getting an early nap because she didn't sleep well the night before. She woke up at 12:15pm, sat there quietly and refused all the yummy food I bought to cheer her up. 15 minutes later, she dozed off again!!! That was when the siren went off in my head!
I called the clinic only to realised its lunch break and no one's around to answer my call. Out of desperation, I called an ex-colleague who is a nurse. Her words struck me like lightning! "She could die of dehydration! She's still so young! Send her to KKH. Don't wait for the clinic to open!"
I decided to wake En up, to see if she's alright. Once, twice, thrice... I tried hitting her cheeks harder. There was no response!!! Yes, she's still breathing but she wasn't responding!!! I panicked. I asked Ya-Ya to quickly finished up her lunch while I proceed to pack some of En's stuff and get ready the necessary documents. After I booked a cab, I called my dad and Di. I was already in tears when I told them "I don't know what happened but she just won't wake up!!!" With no questions asked, both the men showed up at the KKH A&E Department's taxi stand before our arrival.
At the A&E, on and off, En does open her eyes. She doesn't give much response but she is conscious, and that is great consolation to me. Primary diagnosis for her case is Gastrointestinal infection, whose symptoms are exactly the same as the sides effects of the antibiotics. No hospitalisation required but we will continue to see diarrhea, vomiting, fever, etc. for the next few days.
Since midnight till now, she's had 3 rounds of diarrhea and yet there hasn't been much fluid intake as she refuses everything... She hasn't had food for more than 3 days! I couldn't bear to take a second look at her now as she is so weak and skinny. Helplessness is exactly how I am feeling this moment and I can only pray...
Would you please pray with me?
Before I could get over her adenoid issue, we had another "drama" yesterday and it totally freaked me out. I finally broke down because I really thought I was going to lose her forever...
En had been down with diarrhea and vomiting for the past few days. As she had just started a course of Claripen (an antibiotic) last weekend, I figured its normal because the side effects of the drug clearly indicated diarrhea, vomiting, abdominal pain, headache, taste alteration, etc.
Her diarrhea became more severe by Tuesday, after our visit to the ENT specialist. In order not to further traumatise her, I called the clinic instead of bringing her back to the doctor. Her usual doctor was off duty, so I consulted the locum instead, and was told to continue with Claripen as diarrhea is normal under such condition. Her last meal taken to date was a slice of hash brown during lunch on Tuesday.
We went on to administer the drug and even send her to school on Wednesday. Big mistake!!! Although she survived school on Wednesday, she was too weak to even move around by Thursday morning. She was seen lying around on the floor, couch and everywhere at home in the morning. As we had already decided not to send her to school, we just let her rest as much as her heart desires.
By 9am plus, she fell asleep, and Ya-Ya thought she's getting an early nap because she didn't sleep well the night before. She woke up at 12:15pm, sat there quietly and refused all the yummy food I bought to cheer her up. 15 minutes later, she dozed off again!!! That was when the siren went off in my head!
I called the clinic only to realised its lunch break and no one's around to answer my call. Out of desperation, I called an ex-colleague who is a nurse. Her words struck me like lightning! "She could die of dehydration! She's still so young! Send her to KKH. Don't wait for the clinic to open!"
I decided to wake En up, to see if she's alright. Once, twice, thrice... I tried hitting her cheeks harder. There was no response!!! Yes, she's still breathing but she wasn't responding!!! I panicked. I asked Ya-Ya to quickly finished up her lunch while I proceed to pack some of En's stuff and get ready the necessary documents. After I booked a cab, I called my dad and Di. I was already in tears when I told them "I don't know what happened but she just won't wake up!!!" With no questions asked, both the men showed up at the KKH A&E Department's taxi stand before our arrival.
At the A&E, on and off, En does open her eyes. She doesn't give much response but she is conscious, and that is great consolation to me. Primary diagnosis for her case is Gastrointestinal infection, whose symptoms are exactly the same as the sides effects of the antibiotics. No hospitalisation required but we will continue to see diarrhea, vomiting, fever, etc. for the next few days.
Since midnight till now, she's had 3 rounds of diarrhea and yet there hasn't been much fluid intake as she refuses everything... She hasn't had food for more than 3 days! I couldn't bear to take a second look at her now as she is so weak and skinny. Helplessness is exactly how I am feeling this moment and I can only pray...
Would you please pray with me?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Adenoid
The word "Adenoid" was first introduced to me 2 days ago at the munchkins' doctor's clinic, and it got me all anxious and a little depress till now. So be warned. This is a rather depressing post...
En's bout of cough didn't go away since Christmas. After 3 visits to the same doctor, he decided to administer antibiotics which is standard protocol for fear of infection. 3 days after that, En developed high fever. Very unusual for one who is on antibiotics, so I suspect antibiotics resistance and brought her back to the clinic for a 4th time.
I spent some time with her doctor going through the signs and symptoms we observed in En:
My mind was in a state of confusion when I left the clinic with the letter in my hand. As told by the doctor, I googled "Adenoid" the same night and had a better understanding of what it is. But I was still very anxious about the visit to the ENT specialist the following day. though I did feel a lot better after praying and exchanging SMSes with friends who are my praying partners.
Yesterday, I packed some of En's favourite stuff before we left for the clinic. Thank God my sister took the morning off to join us (Di couldn't make it due to work commitment). It took 4 adults to hold En down when the nasoendoscopy was carried out by the specialist. And yet, the results were not very encouraging. Her nasal passage was 3/4 obstructed by her enlarged adenoid, hence her difficulty in breathing when infected and her frequent wakes in the night. The conclusion - have her adenoid surgically removed.
While we are now waiting for her infection to clear up before we could schedule her for the day surgery, she seemed to sense my anxiety and what's in store for her. I haven't seen her laugh after the nasoendoscopy yesterday. She returned to school today and when I spoke to her teacher and principle this afternoon, both commented that she's been extremely quiet, moody and kept to herself. That nearly brought tears to my eyes...
Nevertheless, I'm thankful for the wonderful staff in the school who are taking extra good care of her now. The principal called to ask me to bring her some formula milk in the late morning when En refused lunch. She later called to inform me En finished her formula milk and that put my mind at ease because En had refused all meals yesterday and didn't quite want to have her formula milk as well.
Even now, my heart still ache at the thought of her going through the surgery and then probably another round of nasoendoscopy for post-op review. And I hate to see her so moody and withdrawn... I don't know how long this will last but I certainly want to believe it will be over soon.
You know, its strange how one could have faith in miracles when sick, yet tremble at the thought of their own kids being wheeled into operating theatres??? I used to think "losing my mobility (or freedom)" would be the most devastating thing that could ever happen to me. Looks like there is more than just that that is capable of robbing me of my peace - MY KIDS...
En's bout of cough didn't go away since Christmas. After 3 visits to the same doctor, he decided to administer antibiotics which is standard protocol for fear of infection. 3 days after that, En developed high fever. Very unusual for one who is on antibiotics, so I suspect antibiotics resistance and brought her back to the clinic for a 4th time.
I spent some time with her doctor going through the signs and symptoms we observed in En:
- loud breathing (close to snoring) when she's asleep;
- takes a long time (compared to Xuan) to finish her meal;
- wakes up coughing in the wee hours of the night, hence disturbed sleep;
- occasionally throws up her milk when she's coughing;
- sensitive nose (similar to my allergy rhinitis);
- unexplained bouts of fever after she turned one, etc.
My mind was in a state of confusion when I left the clinic with the letter in my hand. As told by the doctor, I googled "Adenoid" the same night and had a better understanding of what it is. But I was still very anxious about the visit to the ENT specialist the following day. though I did feel a lot better after praying and exchanging SMSes with friends who are my praying partners.
Yesterday, I packed some of En's favourite stuff before we left for the clinic. Thank God my sister took the morning off to join us (Di couldn't make it due to work commitment). It took 4 adults to hold En down when the nasoendoscopy was carried out by the specialist. And yet, the results were not very encouraging. Her nasal passage was 3/4 obstructed by her enlarged adenoid, hence her difficulty in breathing when infected and her frequent wakes in the night. The conclusion - have her adenoid surgically removed.
While we are now waiting for her infection to clear up before we could schedule her for the day surgery, she seemed to sense my anxiety and what's in store for her. I haven't seen her laugh after the nasoendoscopy yesterday. She returned to school today and when I spoke to her teacher and principle this afternoon, both commented that she's been extremely quiet, moody and kept to herself. That nearly brought tears to my eyes...
Nevertheless, I'm thankful for the wonderful staff in the school who are taking extra good care of her now. The principal called to ask me to bring her some formula milk in the late morning when En refused lunch. She later called to inform me En finished her formula milk and that put my mind at ease because En had refused all meals yesterday and didn't quite want to have her formula milk as well.
Even now, my heart still ache at the thought of her going through the surgery and then probably another round of nasoendoscopy for post-op review. And I hate to see her so moody and withdrawn... I don't know how long this will last but I certainly want to believe it will be over soon.
You know, its strange how one could have faith in miracles when sick, yet tremble at the thought of their own kids being wheeled into operating theatres??? I used to think "losing my mobility (or freedom)" would be the most devastating thing that could ever happen to me. Looks like there is more than just that that is capable of robbing me of my peace - MY KIDS...
Friday, February 6, 2009
Playground Bully
It never occur to me that I'll have to deal with the "bully" issue this soon. While you may have read about primary school kids or teenagers being bullied in school, I was shocked to find one near our home - the playground. And one whom I thought was a friendly neighbour!!!
The bully is a 8-9 year old boy staying 2 storeys below our unit. He is the 2nd born to a family of 3 kids. The only boy, in fact. One could tell he is the apple of his father's and grandma's eyes. His mother is a very sweet, demure lady from China whom I think deserves respect for being a very considerate neighbour and brought her 2 daughters up well. What happened to the boy then? Well, I suspect he is the typical spoilt brat raised in a family where the male species are thought to be of greater "value" and "class".
It was a breezy evening when Ya-Ya decided to bring the munchkins to the playground on her own so I could have a peaceful meal. There were quite a number of children playing, so En decided to stay on her tricycle while Xuan charged to the slide (as usual). Ya-Ya decided to stick around with Xuan while keeping an eye on En from a distance. That was when the boy took the opportunity to prey on En.
No one knew exactly when happened since En's vocabulary is very limited. What Ya-Ya saw was the boy standing next to En's tricycle, holding her left hand which was on the handlebars. En was seen trembling as though in pain or fear. Ya-Ya sensed something unusual, so she ran towards the "crime scene". The boy then ran off to join his elder sister.
En wailed loudly the moment she saw Ya-Ya. She then show Ya-Ya her left hand and said the word "painful." There, on her little hand (near her wrist), was a fresh cut apparently caused by finger nails sinking into her tender flesh. When asked what happened to her wrist, she answered "Gor-Gor". #$%^&*!!! I can't believe my little girl was assaulted at the playground by a familiar face!!! Anyway, the outraged Ya-Ya signalled the boy to join her and gave him a good dressing down. Ya-Ya also told the boy's sister about the incident, and polite girl quickly apologised on her brother's behalf.
Ya-Ya brought the girls straight home thereafter. En was still crying when she showed me her fresh wound. Lately, she also displayed higher level of anxiety whenever there are boys at the playground. I believe she had been badly traumatised by the incident.
While I have been teaching my girls to love one another and not to be violent, what happened this time round prompted me to share "self defense" with them as well. I feel it is a "life skill", especially for girls. And I told myself I will give the boy a piece of mind the next time I see him in the neighbourhood. And I will insist he apologise to En, even if the scar on her wrist is no longer visible.
The bully is a 8-9 year old boy staying 2 storeys below our unit. He is the 2nd born to a family of 3 kids. The only boy, in fact. One could tell he is the apple of his father's and grandma's eyes. His mother is a very sweet, demure lady from China whom I think deserves respect for being a very considerate neighbour and brought her 2 daughters up well. What happened to the boy then? Well, I suspect he is the typical spoilt brat raised in a family where the male species are thought to be of greater "value" and "class".
It was a breezy evening when Ya-Ya decided to bring the munchkins to the playground on her own so I could have a peaceful meal. There were quite a number of children playing, so En decided to stay on her tricycle while Xuan charged to the slide (as usual). Ya-Ya decided to stick around with Xuan while keeping an eye on En from a distance. That was when the boy took the opportunity to prey on En.
No one knew exactly when happened since En's vocabulary is very limited. What Ya-Ya saw was the boy standing next to En's tricycle, holding her left hand which was on the handlebars. En was seen trembling as though in pain or fear. Ya-Ya sensed something unusual, so she ran towards the "crime scene". The boy then ran off to join his elder sister.
En wailed loudly the moment she saw Ya-Ya. She then show Ya-Ya her left hand and said the word "painful." There, on her little hand (near her wrist), was a fresh cut apparently caused by finger nails sinking into her tender flesh. When asked what happened to her wrist, she answered "Gor-Gor". #$%^&*!!! I can't believe my little girl was assaulted at the playground by a familiar face!!! Anyway, the outraged Ya-Ya signalled the boy to join her and gave him a good dressing down. Ya-Ya also told the boy's sister about the incident, and polite girl quickly apologised on her brother's behalf.
Ya-Ya brought the girls straight home thereafter. En was still crying when she showed me her fresh wound. Lately, she also displayed higher level of anxiety whenever there are boys at the playground. I believe she had been badly traumatised by the incident.
While I have been teaching my girls to love one another and not to be violent, what happened this time round prompted me to share "self defense" with them as well. I feel it is a "life skill", especially for girls. And I told myself I will give the boy a piece of mind the next time I see him in the neighbourhood. And I will insist he apologise to En, even if the scar on her wrist is no longer visible.
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