“I’ll make sure my kids never knew fear, except the fear of the Lord”. I said that to myself, holding my newborn twins 2 years ago. I’m not going to instill fear in their tiny little hearts & minds like my parents did (unconsciously) when I was young. The twins shall not fear creepy insects (eg. roaches which I absolutely detest more than fear), darkness, lightning, “ghosts”, etc.
Months passed by and the twins grew, fearless indeed. Then at some point, they began to start running away from creepy little things like lizards and bugs. I read that their imagination gets wilder as they enter toddlerhood, so we try our best to assure them those insects are harmless. As time passes, however, when the munchkins get out of hand at times, family members (myself included) unconsciously start to insinuate some form of fear in the little ones. For example, hinting that lizards are hiding in some corners of the storage room when they insist on entering. How ironical!!! I could finally understand where my parents (or every parent) were coming from when they had to confront an innocent toddler while at their wits end. And this truth finally dawned on me a few nights ago.
Alright, some background information first. What happened was the munchkins were taking advantage of Ya-Ya since her return to Singapore. Both would take turns to want to have milk feed in the middle of the night (they slept through when I take charge) and after following her to kitchen to get their milk prepared, they would insist on having their milk on the sofa, and thereafter, refuse to return to their bedroom. Poor Ya-Ya had to camp in the living hall with no room for her on the sofa!
To prevent similar episodes from occurring again, while watching the Barbie Mariposa DVD with the munchkins one evening, I lied by bringing the movie to “life”. I told the munchkins very sternly that they are not allowed to leave their bedroom at night and camp out in the hall because the Skeezites (some form of evil flying bugs which feed on butterfly fairies like Mariposa) would be waiting for them in the dark. If they should request for milk, they would have to consume the milk in their bedroom. And I went on to illustrate (as per the movie) how the Skeezites were too huge to enter small spaces (eg. their bedroom) and were afraid of bright lights.
True enough, the same night, both girls were awake at 2am. En asked to leave the bedroom while Xuan asked for milk. I walked into their room and reminded them of the Skeezites. Having reached an agreement that everyone will stay in the kitchen where lights will be on while I prepare the milk, we headed for the kitchen. For once, I managed to have the munchkins seated on the floor, waiting patiently. The moment I was done, the entire platoon marched back to the bedroom without a fuss. And the best part was, both of them knocked out as soon as they finished their milk.
While I was quite glad things ended on a happy note and they slept through the following nights, I was extremely guilty when Xuan (watching the same DVD, seated on my sister’s lap) said the word “scared” while pointing to the Skeezites yesterday. Did I do wrong? Should I have adopted another approach? I don’t know, seriously… But I think I will tell them the truth in another year or two. They probably know the truth by then but you know what, I’d rather confess. Sorry, girls…
2 comments:
hi, i was blog hopping and find your muses interesting. =)
my family used to do that to me when i was younger as well. putting fear in my heart when really it was very unnecessary. I simply loathe it now when i think back about it.
my sister does it to her twin sons as well. they are both 7 year olds now. and sadly, they turned out to be cowardly boys. afraid of anything that crawls or flies to the puppet used in chinese lion dances. sometimes its really ridiculous. but damage was done. my whole family doesn't seem to think it wrong to frighten children into obedience.
i, on the other hand, hope to break away from that with my 9 mth old dotter. but hah. its easier said than done right, as yew have pointed out in your post. =)
haha! for us, it's crocodiles... under the bed, in the kitchen, anywhere i don't want them to be.
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