I was pretty emotional when I read about Ashley (see my previous blog or http://ashleyisourangel.blogspot.com/) and that same melancholy mood came back on Sunday when the story of Ashley was published in the Straits Times' Life section.
Then today, tears rolled again... For at least an hour or so, I couldn't come to terms with God. Ning, one of my best friends, is 4 months pregnant with the child she and her husband so longed for. About 2 weeks back, she turned down an invitation to lunch together. Reason was her family was going through prayer and fasting for her unborn child, who had been diagnosed with "developmental issues". She was scheduled to have her medical review this morning at the gynae's clinic at the mall near my place. Well, God had it all planned and you guessed it! I ran into the couple when I was at the mall buying lunch.
There was no good news. The decision will be a painful one and Ning is devastated. We hugged and sobbed uncontrollably outside the gynae's clinic, ignoring the congregation of fathers-to-be loitering around the vicinity. I felt utterly disappointed, not exactly with God, but with the outcome. But I'm really thankful she's got a really strong and supportive husband, though I knew he's grieving too. He stood there calm, with redden eyes. And he told us to wait for him down the mall while he settles the paperwork at the clinic.
Grieving is a long process. Ning and her hubby needed time to face their grief, hurts or even anger. And I can't imagine Ning having to face this "grieve" when they speak to their pastor, break the news to their parents, colleagues, etc. Then she still has the delivery process to go through. Reality will hit her right on her face many times fiercely and mercilessly. I hated that thought...
Guess for the next couple of days, I'll still be feeling downcast, though deep down inside me, I knew it'll all come to pass.
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