Who's the Boss?

People like to ask if both En & Xuan are the same in terms of personality (since they are identical twins). As much as I refuse to compare them, my answer is usually "They are very different."

Indeed, when I refer to the 4 dimensions of the DISC Personality Tests, I'd classify the munchkins as follows:

• Dominance - EN (for being active in dealing with challenges, egocentric, strong willed, determined, etc. )
• Influence - XUAN (influence others through talk & activity, magnetic, enthusiastic, warm, etc.)
• Steadiness - both En & Xuan (or most toddlers for that matter) would probably get low scores for this as they've yet to learn how to control or handle emotions. However, XUAN would probably get a higher score for steadiness since she is generally more calm, relaxed and can be a little poker-faced at times.
• Conscientiousness - EN (careful, cautious, neat, systematic, exacting, etc.)

En had once again proven my analysis right when we were at the playground this morning. Well, we were all up by 6am, so to kick start the day, we decided to head down to the playground before the burning morning sun starts to heat up the vicinity. The munchkins were clearly "informed" that we'd have to leave by the time the sun rays reaches the slides. It all went well and we had fun, laughter, giggles plus occasional screams.

Suddenly, En pointed to the risen sun, beaming on the playground, turned her head around and gave a very reluctant look on her face. I interpreted that as "Oh no, the sun's here. I wish we don't have to go." Ya Ya reminded her what was agreed upon earlier, and our little friend walked towards the lift lobby with disappointment on her face. Then she turned around, and saw Xuan struggling with Ya Ya. Annoyed by the commotion, the big sister shouted "Ehhhhh..." pointing at Xuan, then the sun. She seemed to be telling her sister off for not abiding by the "rules"!

Well, it seemed clear to me now that En's the boss, despite Xuan being somewhat aggressive at times. Now I'm almost certain Xuan will be "well taken care of" by En when they attend playgroup next year.

Law & Order

Every parent know how its like when their kids are sick. Crankiness, topsy turvy routine, incessant wails, etc. are common while the kiddos are on medication. At times, I wonder how many of us actually stick to the rules and call for disciplinary actions at the onset of tantrums when you have a feverish toddler who is coughing and sneezing every other minute? Any comments, anyone?

I must confess I'm one of those parents who allow my kids to regress every time they fall ill. I'll try to give in to their demands, as long as it keeps them calm. Much as I know inconsistency is confusing to the kids, the feeling of being totally defeated, especially when I'm dead tired from sleep deprivation and on the verge of losing my mind, just makes me irrational amidst the mayhem.

This morning, after battling numerous episodes of the munchkins' dramatic acts, coupled with exhaustion from 3 sleepless nights in a row, I find myself losing my voice instead of my mind. That's a result of me speaking (at times, shouting) aloud for the past 4 days in order to be heard, while munchkins wailed or fought.

My partially deaf right ear seemed hurt from the cruel screams of my two 21-month old tots. I had to cover it whenever a new fight sparks off. But my sanity is still in place (thank God!). The munchkins finally cornered me to the point I decided enough is enough. I've just applied the good old "Cold Turkey" treatment on them by putting away items which were the "source" of their numerous fights. The usual rules were reinstated. As a result, Xuan had a 4-minute time-out this morning, while En got smacked on her hand twice for throwing a tantrum, hitting Xuan and attempting to hit Ya Ya as well.

Well, sounds like war at home? No! In fact, peace had just been restored the moment "law and order" is put back in place. In order to maintain the level of "social security and stability" at home, I'm starting to review and set new KPIs for the munchkins. *Evil grin*

R.P.

Parents with toddlers who are 18 months or older or walking/running steadily would probably be quite familiar with the following places on our sunny little island.

• Bukit Timah Nature Reserve
• East Coast Park
• Jacob Ballas Children's Garden
• Regional & Community Libraries
• Sembawang Park
• Singapore Changi Airport (the new Terminal 3 in particular)
• The Southern Ridges (9-kilometre chain of green, open spaces spanning the rolling hills of Mount Faber Park, Telok Blangah Hill Park and Kent Ridge Park before ending at West Coast Park)

What do all these places have in common?

• Spacious. A must have for walking/running toddlers.
• Have facilities which keep toddlers occupied (Let's face it! Tots are capable of coming up with at least 3 activities from a mere long bench!)
• Admission is free.

But for a non-driver like me, travelling to some of these places with the tots can be a real challenge. Distance is also another major deterrent factor. Hence, I've been cracking my thick skull, searching for a venue which I can bring the tots to for "workout" on a regular basis, without having to lug a "luggage" along. And guess what? I found one!!!

I managed to catch up with my sister over lunch few days back at her workplace and I found the place a fantastic venue for the kids to "workout". My sister teaches at the RP (Republic Polytechnic) which is about 15 minutes bus ride from my place. The campus' 20-hectare area consists of environmental friendly features, greenery, water features & huge air conditioned open spaces (mostly carpeted). It is indeed a "Campus In the Park".

So I brought the munchkins there the following day. As expected, they were thrilled to see stairways, ramps and the water features. By the time we were done exploring the main building, the tots were exhausted. It took them only 5 minutes to drift off to sleep by the time we got home. Well, we'll definitely go back there to explore other areas of the campus real soon! :)

Play

A couple of my curious, "full-time working mom" friends often ask me "What do you do at home with your kids the whole day?" My answer? We play! But what can a 35 year-old play with two 21 month-old tots?

Well, first of all, I must say its very fun to watch the munchkins play. They play with toys, with each other, with other kids and on their own. Sometimes, the funny sound they make while playing with finger puppets makes me want to laugh aloud. They can make the sound of a bear or lion roar, but can you imagine a frog "chirping" or a giraffe "meowing"??? Yet I have to really control myself and watch quietly, or they might just throw in the towel and run off.

Just this morning, I decided to replace the usual star-shaped bites or Coco Crunch with transparent pebbles in their "transfer game". The "transfer game" is the term I decided to use for training them on the proper use of bowls, cups as well as spoons. They'll have to make use of the spoon to scoop up the snacks from the bowl, transfer them into the cup before scooping the loot from the cup and then reward themselves with the food. Its kind of fun, but I'm beginning to find it too easily achievable because the snacks are way too lightweight compared to proper food served in meals.

So I carefully cleaned some transparent pebbles (see photo of the pebble which resembles a candy) before putting them into their bowls. Ya Ya was a little worried they might swallow the clear stones, assuming those are candies. I decided its not a cause for worry since I'll be personally supervising them. Turn out they did attempt to eat them but after 2 stern warnings, they seemed to "get the message" that those were not edible. At the end of the game, both managed to learn the word "pebble" as well though one can only hear "-ble" from their lips.

Okie, I've gotta go and think of more "games" and "activities" for the munchkins' play. Ciao!

Silent Conversations

Though En & Xuan are now able to say a dozen words, a typical “conversation” during the day would end up like this.

[Munchkins point to the DVD player.]

Me: You want to watch DVDs?
Munchkins nod their heads.

Me: What would you like to watch?
Silence… (Probably vocalising the titles inside their tiny little brain)

Me: Would you like to watch Elmo (refers to Sesame Street series)?
Munchkins shake their heads.

Me: How about Hi-5 (refers to the Hi-5 series)?
Munchkins shake their heads again.

Me: Is it Nemo (refers to the movie “Finding Nemo”)?
Munchkins shake their heads this time with some displeasure on their faces.

Me: Then, how about Ah-Bu (refers to the character in the movie “Monster Inc.”)?
Munchkins shake their heads vigorously and start to make noise.

Me: Okay, is it Mickey (refers to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse series) then?
Munchkins grin from ear to ear, nodding their heads simultaneously.

You know what? Such “silent” conversation doesn’t always end on a happy note. There are times when I feel like quitting the human race when I’ve exhausted the list (and sub-listing like the titles under Sesame Street or Hi-5 series!!!) and still haven’t got the right answer! It is having to guess every single possible answer to their request that’s the silent killer! Forget those books which advocate giving choices to tots but limiting the options to 2. It doesn’t work all the time. I have come to realise a particular trick which works better – don’t even ask! Just play whatever DVDs I feel like it. More often than not, they’ll just watch along with me or run off to play on their own if they are not interested. Perfect!

Live the Dream!

On 17 May, I posted a sharing on my desire for a career switch in the coming year. At the same time, SMSes were also sent to my group of “prayer partners” as I really needed confirmation and assurance. I mentioned in that posting “As long as I know this is His plan for me, I would fearlessly take the step of faith and go forth.” Subsequently, I was surprised to receive so much assurance from family (Di included, of course) and friends, encouraging me to give it a go. Yet deep down, I still felt inadequate and uncertain though I believe He was telling me to “Go on. I’ll be with you, O ye of little faith!”

Exactly 5 weeks later, on 20 June, while going through a daily devotional material, I was so encouraged by the opening passage because it really speaks into my heart where this issue is concerned. Here’s what it says:

“If God tells you to do something, He will give you the energy, talent, resources – whatever you need – to do it. Where God guides, He provides.” (Rick Warren, founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California.)

Such timely reassurance! I continue to pray about it, and it took me another week to have the courage to share this with the other very-important-men in my life – my dad. And boy, was I thankful he didn’t scream with remarks like “How are you going to raise your children with that kind of salary & working hours!!!” He listened quietly to my sharing and thought about it for a while. Guess what? Those 8 seconds were the longest silence I ever endured in my entire life! “It is hard work. Nevertheless, it is a career worth considering. You decide. It’s your call.” I was thankful, encouraged and relieved. Nothing beats having the favour of my Father above and the support of my dad on earth.

So, yes! Be prepared to bump into me in the coming year, strutting around in the MRT, clad in jeans, tee shirt and struggling with notes and reference books. I’m going back to school!!! Yippee...

“If Jesus Lived Inside My Heart”

“If Jesus Lived Inside My Heart” is a very lovely passage for tots, written by Jill Roman Lord, text copyright © 2007. It is also a very good reminder to me to share with my tots, on how the Lord works for and within us in our daily walk with Him. Here’s the passage to share with everyone.

If Jesus lived inside my heart,
Would other people know?
Perhaps he’d use all parts of me
To love and shine and glow!

If Jesus used my eyes, I think
He might just recommend
That when I see a child alone,
I’d try to be her friend.

I’d offer her some bubble gum
Or ask if she might like
To shoot some hoops of basketball
Or try out my new trike.

Would Jesus use my mouth to say
“I’m sorry” when I’m wrong?
Or offer kind encouragement
For friends to get along?

I think he’d use my arms to give
Big warm and snugly hugs
And hold my baby sister when
She’s scared of creepy bugs

My hands could make nice cards to send
To Grandma far away.
I’d also rub Mom’s shoulders when
She’s had a busy day.

I’d use my gifts and talents that
God’s given to me to share.
I’d play a song for Grandpa and
His friends to show I care.

I’d always try to do what’s best,
So someone else might see
That Jesus lives inside my heart
And works through little me!

And if there were one cookie left,
I’d know just what to do…
I’d split it with my brother ‘cause
He’d want a cookie too.

I know I sometimes make mistakes.
I’m messy and I spill.
Then, what does Jesus think of me?
Does Jesus love me still?

I think he’d say, “I love you, Child,
More than you’ll ever know.
Since you have given me your heart,
I’ll never let you go.

I’ll work through you and shine through you
Just like the brightest light.
I’ll guide each precious step you take
And help you do what’s right.

And though I live inside of you,
I’m here for all to see.
When others see your acts of love…
They’re also seeing me.”

And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts,
Living within you as you trust in him.
– Ephesians 3:17, The Living New Testament.