Two nights ago, Di and I decided to go for a date after the munchkins went to bed. Its been a long time since we were able to sneak out on our own. And Di's heavy workload nowadays means we see less of each other cos I'd be in bed by the time he reaches home on some days.
So we had ice cream & smoothies at Gelare while sharing our job frustrations (well, motherhood is a considerably tough job, you know!), discuss possible solutions to the issues we face and realign our visions for our family's future. I strongly believe communication is the key to any relationship. And I'm not talking about any normal conversation. That's just exchanging of words. I'm referring to spending quality time together, listening to each other and sharing. Its nearly impossible for us to do that while the munchkins are awake. Most parents would feel the same, I guess. Kids, toddlers in particular, simply have that magical power to totally transform parents into absolute strangers unless they're napping or in bed at night. Kekeke...
Well, I'm just glad we managed to "catch up" with one another this time. And I certainly look forward to more of such dates. :)
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Speech
Further to my previous post on the munchkins' effort to go independent, I must add that another factor which contributes to the daily frustration is their inability to communicate. Even Di attributed their recent emotional intensity to speech delay. This is probably the only milestone which they've yet to achieve at 18 months. While they are able to signal their needs by pointing and making sounds, or even say words like "come" (when they signal to pets or birds to come to them) or "up" as they climb the stairs, they are still generally babbling throughout the day. In most cases, it is En and Xuan who gets really upset when Ya-Ya and me couldn't deliver their needs and wants.
And although I'm quite OK with them not speaking or even calling me "mommy", I get really pissed off (forgive my language here but I seriously cannot help it) when others show their "concern" over this issue. Especially those "well meaning" neighbours who react in "great horror" as if I said my girls are dumb, or bragged endlessly about their grandchildren who started addressing them "po po" at 14 months. There are times when you feel like replying "Oh, your grandson started talking at 14 months? Does that make him a lawyer?" when I knew exactly the grandson she's referring to is that 16 month old brat yelling at her. But I've decided not to lower myself to their level cos there are so many issues we could argue about. And there are also nosy parkers who won't stop giving uninvited "tips" on how to make the munchkins talk or potty train them. You can imagine how many times I had to hold back remarks like "I can afford disposable diapers, you know? Not just those cheap diapers. We use MamyPoko Pull Up Pants!" @#$%^&*!!!
Okie, let's ignore those EQ-deficient folks and look at the brighter side. I must give my munchkins credit for having more or less achieved all the necessary milestones at 18 months. Their first tooth emerges at the 5th month, they master the act of rolling over at 4 months (En) & 4.5 months (Xuan), sit steadily without support when they turn 6 months, stand without support at 10 months (Xuan) and 11 months (En), followed by their first steps at 11 months (Xuan) and 12.5 months (En). Thereafter, they proceed to run, sorts simple objects by shapes, pick up tiny objects with thumb and index finger, negotiate the stairs, imitates demonstrations, scribbles, stack blocks, etc. Of late, they've also started to self feed using a spoon and even manage to take off an article of clothing (shorts or sleeveless tops).
So, look! So what if they can't talk like the 16 month old brat? At least I can preserve my sanity for a few more months till they start raining questions beginning with "Why, What, Who, When, Where and How" on me. Kekeke...
And although I'm quite OK with them not speaking or even calling me "mommy", I get really pissed off (forgive my language here but I seriously cannot help it) when others show their "concern" over this issue. Especially those "well meaning" neighbours who react in "great horror" as if I said my girls are dumb, or bragged endlessly about their grandchildren who started addressing them "po po" at 14 months. There are times when you feel like replying "Oh, your grandson started talking at 14 months? Does that make him a lawyer?" when I knew exactly the grandson she's referring to is that 16 month old brat yelling at her. But I've decided not to lower myself to their level cos there are so many issues we could argue about. And there are also nosy parkers who won't stop giving uninvited "tips" on how to make the munchkins talk or potty train them. You can imagine how many times I had to hold back remarks like "I can afford disposable diapers, you know? Not just those cheap diapers. We use MamyPoko Pull Up Pants!" @#$%^&*!!!
Okie, let's ignore those EQ-deficient folks and look at the brighter side. I must give my munchkins credit for having more or less achieved all the necessary milestones at 18 months. Their first tooth emerges at the 5th month, they master the act of rolling over at 4 months (En) & 4.5 months (Xuan), sit steadily without support when they turn 6 months, stand without support at 10 months (Xuan) and 11 months (En), followed by their first steps at 11 months (Xuan) and 12.5 months (En). Thereafter, they proceed to run, sorts simple objects by shapes, pick up tiny objects with thumb and index finger, negotiate the stairs, imitates demonstrations, scribbles, stack blocks, etc. Of late, they've also started to self feed using a spoon and even manage to take off an article of clothing (shorts or sleeveless tops).
So, look! So what if they can't talk like the 16 month old brat? At least I can preserve my sanity for a few more months till they start raining questions beginning with "Why, What, Who, When, Where and How" on me. Kekeke...
Terrible Twos?
I understand most toddlers go through the "terrible twos" phase, but it didn't occur to me I could be right in IT now even though the munchkins are just 18 months old. Every passing day gets more and more challenging for both the munchkins and me as they start to embark on their journey towards independence.
We get caught in so many NO WIN situation daily when the munchkins insist on being independent at performing tasks which they aren't adequately equipped with the skills to do it yet. Its a terrible vicious cycle which goes something like this:
We get caught in so many NO WIN situation daily when the munchkins insist on being independent at performing tasks which they aren't adequately equipped with the skills to do it yet. Its a terrible vicious cycle which goes something like this:
- They want to play the 3-D shapes sorter.
- I quietly watch them do it, knowing they lack the skills to complete sorting all the shapes.
- They get frustrated at their failure to perform, they start to whine.
- I try to comfort them and offer my help.
- They get upset because I tried to help, so they begin to wail.
- I take a step back and watch again, offering only verbal instructions.
- They recognise their inadequacy and rage at me for not helping them.
- I try to demonstrate how the shapes should be realigned in order to slip it into the box.
- They kick and scream as if I had "desecrated' the pieces of shapes.
- I retreat to a corner, take a deep breathe and pray if necessary.
- They continue to wail.
- We take a 2-4 minutes time out.
- Things return to normal and they move on to another toy.
- The whole cycle starts again...
If this is just a prelude to the "terrible twos" stage, God help me! I cannot imagine being in the actual phase. Otherwise, I pray I'll become amnesic, just like the munchkins.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Allergic Rhinitis
Brought En to the doctor yesterday as she had been coughing at night and waking up so very often. I assumed it was, you know, just dry cough but the doctor suspect otherwise. He thinks she might have sensitive windpipe, and that upsets me. Well, if you think it just concerns En, think again... She has an identical twin who shares 100% genetic makeup as her. That's what upsets me further. Haiz...
Then, my heart sank as deep as the Titanic when the wordings "Allergic Rhinitis" (AR in short) appeared on her prescribed medication. These may seemed like any normal medical terms but to me, this is a term which had been labelled on my medical records since 1993. In fact, I was once condemned to the "chronic" family and was in specialist care for 6 years. To be told my munchkins (who bears no physical resemblance to me) and I have something as such in common is nothing to rejoice about.
So is it time to stop living in denial and face the music? They are only 18 months old and they have a long way ahead of them. I will not cease to work on improving their health and respiratory system, so they won't follow in my footsteps. Had my parents been more educated about AR when I was younger, my quality of life would have been a lot better. Am I blaming my parents now? NO. They did their best, as I would for my kids. So out I went to get bottles of Eucalyptus concentrate for the air revitalisor which I had newly relocated to their bedroom. Organic cold care chest rub is also on standby every night now. I will not hesitate to take any extra care to prevent the munchkins from being part of the AR herd.
On a separate note, I'm still thankful to God that there are things I could do in this case, and having come this far with my AR condition, I knew exactly what to do with my munchkins'. Praise the Lord they are not suffering from something which I had totally no knowledge about. And I still believe in miracles. After all, they are only 1.5 years old. There is hope for complete healing anytime. Never limit what God can do.
Extract from song "When You Believe" (chorus) :
There can be miracles when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who know what miracle you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe.
Then, my heart sank as deep as the Titanic when the wordings "Allergic Rhinitis" (AR in short) appeared on her prescribed medication. These may seemed like any normal medical terms but to me, this is a term which had been labelled on my medical records since 1993. In fact, I was once condemned to the "chronic" family and was in specialist care for 6 years. To be told my munchkins (who bears no physical resemblance to me) and I have something as such in common is nothing to rejoice about.
So is it time to stop living in denial and face the music? They are only 18 months old and they have a long way ahead of them. I will not cease to work on improving their health and respiratory system, so they won't follow in my footsteps. Had my parents been more educated about AR when I was younger, my quality of life would have been a lot better. Am I blaming my parents now? NO. They did their best, as I would for my kids. So out I went to get bottles of Eucalyptus concentrate for the air revitalisor which I had newly relocated to their bedroom. Organic cold care chest rub is also on standby every night now. I will not hesitate to take any extra care to prevent the munchkins from being part of the AR herd.
On a separate note, I'm still thankful to God that there are things I could do in this case, and having come this far with my AR condition, I knew exactly what to do with my munchkins'. Praise the Lord they are not suffering from something which I had totally no knowledge about. And I still believe in miracles. After all, they are only 1.5 years old. There is hope for complete healing anytime. Never limit what God can do.
Extract from song "When You Believe" (chorus) :
There can be miracles when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who know what miracle you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Birthday
Its Di's birthday today. Did we plan a romantic lunch/dinner together? Nope. It was a simple fare at Di's godparents' loft - a sumptuous feast followed by ice cream and yummy durian cake from Angie The Choice. Actually, we agreed to have the mini celebration there so the grandparents could play with kiddos. How romantic, right? Well, when you have 2 active, energised, excited toddlers, you'll be very thankful to just have a decent lunch in peace while the folks and maids entertain the munchkins.
Given a choice, I'd love to have dinner at cozy restaurants (without the kids), prep gifts and surprises for him on his birthday. I won't say its impossible to do so, but I (or rather we) wouldn't want to stress any babysitters, especially when it comes to the munchkins' bedtime. Its a little bit tricky to put them to bed if you don't know their bedtime preference. Hence, we rather stick to the safer options like what we had.
Nevertheless, I had always remind myself not to put the kids' needs above Di. Cos the day will come when the munchkins will marry the man of their dream (I'm "far sighted", aren't I? Hee...) and I may get stuck with a "stranger" if I don't get my priorities right now. Its a challenge, I must admit, and I'm still working on it. But I'm sure we'll be able to get things right in time to come. Perhaps next year, Di. Or maybe my birthday at the end of this year? Kekeke...
Given a choice, I'd love to have dinner at cozy restaurants (without the kids), prep gifts and surprises for him on his birthday. I won't say its impossible to do so, but I (or rather we) wouldn't want to stress any babysitters, especially when it comes to the munchkins' bedtime. Its a little bit tricky to put them to bed if you don't know their bedtime preference. Hence, we rather stick to the safer options like what we had.
Nevertheless, I had always remind myself not to put the kids' needs above Di. Cos the day will come when the munchkins will marry the man of their dream (I'm "far sighted", aren't I? Hee...) and I may get stuck with a "stranger" if I don't get my priorities right now. Its a challenge, I must admit, and I'm still working on it. But I'm sure we'll be able to get things right in time to come. Perhaps next year, Di. Or maybe my birthday at the end of this year? Kekeke...
Friday, April 11, 2008
Running on Empty
My patience is running out and my "batteries" doesn't seemed to be working... Well, I know for sure the electricity (God's grace) hasn't been cut off but I suspect its hardware (my pea brain and burned-out heart) failure this time. What to do? The hardware's been put through a series of load tests (eg. sick/cranky toddlers, killing weather, Di working OT often, etc.) recently and its beginning to not respond to standard protocol...
Patience. A very simple 8-letter word. One which many of us are familiar with because God had extend His to us so very often. Why is it so challenging to do the same to others? A very profound question which I couldn't answer (as yet).
For now, the interim solution to this hardware failure episode is application of a new programme which requires loading Psalms 103 from the good old system known as the "Bible". Perhaps executing verse 8-9 thrice a day may do the job until a permanent solution is established?
"The Lord is merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.
He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever" - Psalms 103:8-9
In addition, musical therapy (practising on the guitar) is expected to help as well. Therefore, so long! Gotta go tune that guitar first... Now where did I place the tuner? And where are my scores? @#$%^&!!!
Patience. A very simple 8-letter word. One which many of us are familiar with because God had extend His to us so very often. Why is it so challenging to do the same to others? A very profound question which I couldn't answer (as yet).
For now, the interim solution to this hardware failure episode is application of a new programme which requires loading Psalms 103 from the good old system known as the "Bible". Perhaps executing verse 8-9 thrice a day may do the job until a permanent solution is established?
"The Lord is merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.
He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever" - Psalms 103:8-9
In addition, musical therapy (practising on the guitar) is expected to help as well. Therefore, so long! Gotta go tune that guitar first... Now where did I place the tuner? And where are my scores? @#$%^&!!!
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