Reminiscence

I attended my secondary school's symphony band's 40th anniversary concert last night with much anticipation. Oh yes, I was once a member of a symphony band. I know, I know... Some of you just couldn't believe it, right? One of my girlfriends rang me on my mobile when I was sipping coffee at the IKEA Cafe prior to the concert. When I told her I'm going for the concert to support my peers from the alumni band, she went "You were from the band? You mean you can play a musical instrument apart from the guitar?"

Haiz... "Do I really look that 'uncultured' to you?" I asked. She burst into laughter and explained that back in Hong Kong (she's a Hong Konger), being able to play a musical instrument is quite a luxury during her school days. Not many schools could afford to have a band as an extra curriculum activity in the first place. Hence, she's surprised we (Singaporeans) had such privileged lifestyle.

Yes, I was indeed a privileged teenager. But apart from feeling grateful I had the chance to get involved in music (I was a percussionist), I was also thankful for the discipline I received in the uniform group as well as the opportunity to "get wild" during those days. Midway through the concert, my mind was filled with reminiscences of past gaiety. Lyn, my girlfriend for the past 22 years and team mate in the band, laughed so loudly when the slide show on "40 years of the symphony band" was shown. Indeed, we couldn't believe we looked so silly then in our uniform. Yet, we can't helped but missed those good, old days. We almost cried when a photograph of the band taken with the then president Dr Wee Kim Wee at the Istana was flashed. We were in it!!! Oh, memories of those youthful days just kept pouring in! In addition, every piece of music played never fail to trigger that sweet longing for those fun filled days. Looking at Lyn, I knew she felt the same - we were swept down memory lane...

We sneaked to the backstage during the interval in search of our "past". There, we found our dearest band instructor (whom we guess is at least 80 years old now), our crazy seniors and some other familiar faces. Photographs were taken and everyone spoke like that was our last meeting. Well, you never know...

Now, I can't help but wonder how I'd feel next month at a monologue held at Jubilee Hall. CK, the lead cast (or rather, the only cast) is my friend of 28 years!!! Well, in case you're wondering, I'm not that old. I just happened to have him as a playmate when I was in primary one and we had stayed as friends since then. Come to think of it, both Lyn and CK were never my classmates. We were just school mates and remained as friends from then. Are we all predestined to be friends for life or what??? Nah... More likely a result of my PR skills being developed and tested at a tender age. Hahaha...

My Calling Revealed?

A few days after I prayed about my calling, I received an email from a friend whom I've not met for the past 15-16 months. In fact, we've only met about 5 times at our antenatal class before we both delivered our kiddos in 2006. We hit off quite well at the class then and had been exchanging photos of our girls via email for a while.

Now, her email to me speaks of her dream to venture into a business and she wants to find out if I'm interested to be part of her dream project. Well, we seemed like a perfect combi cos she's got a creative mind whereas I'm a management person. Sounds balance, right? Not that I've got no creativity, but I've seen her works. She's got an honours degree in Creative Arts and I can only say she's really gifted! Moreover, I do get great satisfaction from managing projects and logistics stuff. That's what I've been doing for more than a decade. Oops! Decade??? I'm not really that old... seriously, I'm not...

Okie, now what??? That email got me all excited for days. I had to control myself from replying her too soon for fear that I'd be carried too far with all the excitement, thus forgetting to do a "sanity" check with the Lord. I need to know if this is for me! And if it isn't, I'm not going to ruin a friend's dream by pulling out halfway later on. So for now, we've agreed that we'll both spend more time praying about this little project before committing ourselves to it. If you're with me, please pray for me as well... Dear Lord, ... :)

Called to OR Caught in?

"Are you full time at home?" This is a pretty common question (apart from the "Are they twins?" question) which I'm most often being asked when I bring the munchkins to the nearby malls, mini marts, playground or park. I realised I get questions like that when I do so on a weekday during office hours, which most full-time working mothers wouldn't have the luxury of time.

Yes, I'm a SAHM ("Stay At Home Mom" in short). Its the 4-letter word which brings much joy to my life and yet causes me to grip with fear at times. "How long more can I remain a SAHM?" Its not a question of time. They key word in that question is can. Yes, can. You may ask "Why can't you?". Well, I've asked myself that same question many times... There are many female friends out there who are are envious of me. They wished they could be SAHM so they could spend more time with their kids, go shopping downtown on weekdays when the crowd is more manageable, take care of the house while their hubby brings home the bacon, etc.

Isn't life more than just that? Is SAHM my calling? If I'm indeed called to be a full time home maker, I pray that God will show me a sign. A sign so obvious that I'll be convinced enough to stop dreaming of getting my butt out to the field from now on. But if for some reasons I had to be caught in this situation where I have to stay where I am until God's better plan for me is revealed, I pray I'll have the patience to wait upon the LORD.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining here. I just long for a different level of job satisfaction and of course, financial independence. Not that my hubby doesn't provide enough for me to spend. But I'd certainly enjoy being able to buy that Baby Gap outfit or Jack & Lily shoes for the munchkins without getting that look on Di's face which translates into "Do you have to spend this much on the girls? They'll outgrow them in no time." Sigh... For those of you who agree with Di, you missed out one of the most enjoyable experience of being a parent. Its perfectly alright to splurge on your kids (and yourself) once in a while, and certainly more wonderful when you are able to pay out of your own pocket. It means you are "able" to provide for your loved ones (by God's grace, of course).

So, pray with me, my friends! For directions and signs... and perhaps "peace of mind" should the LORD willed that I have to remain a SAHM and keep my hands off those alluring outfits at the Gap stores. *wink*

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
And whose hope is the LORD.
For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,
Which spreads out its roots by the river,
And will not fear when heat comes;
But her leaf will be green,
And will not be anxious in the year of drought,
Nor will cease from yielding fruit." - Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NKJV)

Sleep Deprivation

31st October (Halloween!!!) marks the start of the first night (after 12 long months) the munchkins share the same bedroom for bedtime. Why were they separated for 12 long months at bedtime? Because En is a light sleeper, thanks to mommy's genes, and she was deprived of a good night sleep whenever Xuan shares the same cot as her. That was when they were both small enough to fit one cot. We weigh the pros & cons then and decided to separate them at bedtime when they were 6 weeks old. By doing that, everyone (including the adults) gets to keep their eyelids shut for at least a straight 4-6 hours per night.

Then why put them together now? Because they've both outgrown their cots!!! Not that they are so big that they could no longer fit their cots. There is simply insufficient space in their cots to satisfy their increasing need to toss & turn all over the place at night!

Now that the munchkins get their own bedroom (with Ya-Ya in there, of course), Di and I thought we could get better sleep at night without having to wake up in the wee hours to check on them. Well, we're wrong!!! Or at least I am. The "mommy" in me will just jumped off the bed and dashed to their bedroom whenever I hear a cry. And talk about better sleep indeed. I'm beginning to display signs of paranoia when I wake up in the middle of the night, hearing cries from the empty cot in my room. Arrggghhhh... Dé·jà vu! I thought I'd only behave like this when I was in confinement. Haiz... Looks like more sleep deprivation for now...